Physical Books, and Why I Won't Switch

Dave’s been telling me for two years that an e-reader would fix my “the paperback edition is out of print and I’m paying nineteen dollars for a used copy on principle” problem, and he’s not wrong about the economics of it. I’ve tried it twice, borrowed his old one both times, and gone back to physical books both times, and I’ve had to actually sit with why, because “I just like paper” isn’t a real reason, it’s a placeholder for a reason I hadn’t worked out yet.

Here’s what I think it actually is, having thought about it more than the question probably deserves. My reading log, the paper one I keep by the bed, works because a physical book gives me a spatial memory of where I am in it, how much is left under my right thumb versus under my left, that a percentage counter at the bottom of a screen doesn’t replicate for me the same way. I didn’t know I was relying on that until it was gone. Second time I tried the e-reader, on a flight, I kept losing my actual sense of pacing, whether a slow stretch was three pages or thirty, in a way that changed how patient I was willing to be with a book that was legitimately just taking its time getting somewhere.

There’s also a duller, more practical reason, which is that I mark books up, dumb little pencil check marks next to a sentence I want to find again, and I’ve never found a digital annotation system that doesn’t add friction I don’t want between having a thought and recording it. Highlighting on a screen requires me to acknowledge I’m highlighting. A pencil mark barely interrupts the reading at all.

I know the economics are actually against me here, and Dave’s right that I’m losing money to out-of-print paperback pricing on principle more often than I’d like to admit. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with reading on a screen, most of the people in my life do it and clearly get just as much out of it as I get from paper, this isn’t a superiority thing. It’s specifically that the spatial and tactile part of it turned out to be load-bearing for how I actually process a book, in a way I only discovered by trying the alternative and noticing what broke.

Marcus asked me recently if I’d at least try audiobooks for the commute, and that one I haven’t tested yet. Might be a different essay in a few months, once I know whether it breaks the same thing or not.